‘Having Ivy taught me that the heart makes space for new love to enter while still being able to honor what has been lost.’: Grieving pawrent opens her heart to a new puppy who helps her work through losing her ‘soul dog’ building a new, hard-won bond

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    My Bella was my soul dog. I had just lost my first dog Molly while she was getting spayed, she was only 2. I had my Chihuahua puppy Thor at the time too and he was just as distraught as I was.
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    He stopped eating entirely and would just curl up next to Molly's collar. So I knew for both of us we needed another dog.
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    He was instantly pulled out of his d₁₁ on and they bonded quickly. Bella was an easy puppy. Full of energy, fun, and loved to learn. We
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    bonded right away. She went everywhere with me. She loved everyone. Everyone loved her. Embarrassingly, I have adult meltdowns. It's a
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    sensory thing. I end up freaking out and hig myself and scratching myself. I knew Bella was my soul dog when she first helped prevent me from a meltdown. She
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    would come and lay on top of me, her legs over my arms so I could lift them up, and she would press her face against mine. She wouldn't let me hurt myself, and she wasn't afraid I was going to hurt her (I never would). She
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    was just there and always knew. Just the smallest shift in my demeanor, before I even knew I was overstimulated. She got me through my darkest times, two toxic relationships, several moves, my mom dying. Everything.
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    DARELY
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    She loved my siblings and their children. Everybody that knew her knew she was special and not just a dog. Everyone knew if I was going to something that Bella was too. It was
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    implied. She went to work with me at the nursing home, she went to outdoor concerts and events, if Bella couldn't come count me out. My true sidekick. Everyone knew it.
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    Everywhere we went people would compliment on our bond. It was so clear to see. She would lay in bed with me for hours upon hours after my mom died. For years.
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    She never once acted out because of it. Though I feel so badly I didn't have it in me to do more with her during that time. She never left my side. She happily cuddled me, her job was to be there with me and she did it well.
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    She was a literal part of me. Someone from a past life, someone who I know I've met a thousand times. Not just a dog, not a person, but a soul. Just like mine. A kindred spirit. She was my everything.
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    It's been 2 years this month without her. I dreaded losing her from the moment I loved her when she was just a puppy. I knew this love would hurt to let go of, and it does. I miss her everyday, in everything I do. I am always reminded of her.
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    I asked for signs for my next dog. A few months after Bella I found my Ivy. Another mostly black border collie. Another border collie that was last pick of the litter.
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    Another border collie born wjth a short tail. Their birthdays are opposite of each other (in hindsight a foreshadowing of their contrasting personalities ✔*). Bella's was 6/8, Ivy's is 8/6. I always told
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    Bella she needed to go to the Dent (short for dentist) cuz her breath was stinky, and Ivy was born on Dent Avenue. The coincidences were too much, and on a whim I brought Ivy home. A 12 week
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    old collie pup from a heavy working line. She ran up to me right away when I first saw her, like she knew I was her mom already. She knew her name the moment I said it. It was like she knew she was sent for me.
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    She was nothing like Bella, skittish, a picky eater with food allergies, hated strangers, afraid of new surroundings. My hardest puppy I have ever raised. Our bond took a lot longer to build. She
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    will never replace Bella, and I know for dan sure Bella sent her to remind me that no one can. But even still, Ivy and I have worked through so many tough things to get
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    where we are, she too will comfort me during my meltdowns, she loves her brother Thor and helped pull him out of his grief from losing his beloved Bella, she has taught me so much about dog behavior and what it
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    truly means to work to build trust and how to go about doing that. We have a lot more years to go, but I have a feeling we will have a bond similar to what Bella and I had.
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    I will always wish Bella was still here, but having lvy taught me that the heart makes space for new love to enter while still being able to honor what has been lost. But Bella will always have the title of my soul dog.
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